uluwatu balu, bali, indonesia


10 Reasons Why You Should 'NOT' Holiday in Bali.

The magic of Bali is a thing of the past, if it ever existed at all. What people experience now is just a mirage that's successfully marketed to at least five million gullible visitors each year.

See for yourself why you should consider a vacation elsewhere, like on the moon or in the stars. Any frickin' where but Bali.
 

1. The surroundings are terribly stressful

Tourists are everywhere and many are wild. The Balinese aren't doing anything about this. Not even the gods are taking action to shut these people up. The climate on the island is so hot and humid all year round. So, good luck in finding a scenic, cooling and peaceful place to relax, unwind, and search for inner peace. Bali's got none of that. Visiting temples you say? Come on… How boring will it be to just keep looking at architectures?

bali, lake bratan, ulun danu temple
Ulun Danu Temple, Lake Bratan, Bedugul
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bali tanah lot
Tanah Lot Pura (Temple), Tabanan
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2. Bali landscape is dull and flat

The hinterland is a semi-eternal swath of rice paddies slapped on top of one another to suck the water out of a system called subak. The panorama can leave you in awe for half a second, and then yawning for the rest of the day. You'll wonder why places like these even make it to the UNESCO Heritage List. So don't even think of booking a tour that shows travellers nothing but overcast skies, and, of course, more rice paddies and groups of subak.

Bali Jatiluwih2
Jatiluwih – *Image reference (2)
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Tegalalang1
Tegalalang
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3. The Balinese stage sloppy cultural shows

The natives think that their traditional dances are spectacular, but who's surprised? They love their queer headdresses and heavy make-up, not to mention their puppet-like steps, as much as they do their horrible cliffs overlooking the sea. Sometimes they even play with fire just to make it look a little more fascinating. Don't they know fire is dangerous?

Kecak dance, BALI, Indonesia
Bali Kecak Dance - *Image reference (3a)
 

bali kecak dance
Bali Kecak Dance - *Image reference (3b)


4. The beaches are heavily polluted

Disgusting! The once-celebrated coasts of Bali are 'ALL' now littered with strange things called pure sand, and nobody seems shore-footed anymore. Clearly, this destination should be stricken off your bucket list even if this was the only popular place in the world you hadn't visited.

padangsurf beach
Padang-Padang Beach – *Image reference (4a)
 

Lovina Beach Bali
Lovina Beach – *Image reference (4b)

 

5. The Balinese are unsophisticated

The natives know no ancient kings and queens, and have no sense of history and heritage. Their forefathers might have been too lazy to carve their cultural traditions in stone.

Bali gunung kawi
Gunung Kawi (Mt. Kawi) - *Image reference (5a)
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gunung kawi2
Gunung Kawi (Mt. Kawi) - *Image reference (5b)


6. The Balinese mutate dogs

Sure they do! Look up the high-IQ Kintamani dogs on Google, and see how these locals have exploited man's best friend by producing the first pure Indonesian breed and making foreigners rabid about these creatures. They even have a dog festival, bah! Well, at least, they don't slaughter and feast on the canines. While on the topic of ‘Kintamani’, it’s also the name of a mountainous region where you could get a view of the volcanic Mt. Batur over lunch. Though I guess it might just be too ordinary for you. 

Bali Kintamani-Dog
Kintamani Dog - *Image reference (6)
 

Bali-Kintamani-Batur2-1024x768_edited
Lunch overlooking Mt. Batur & Lake Batur, Kintamani
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7. Holidaying in Bali is shallow

The novelty of visiting this exotic Southeast Asian island has long worn off. Bali's got no depth, no unique charm, no character of its own, naaa-thang! And, really, what's so refreshing, liberating, and exhilarating about diving? To worship the cold-blooded sea creatures and check out underwater parks? Come on, you can do better sleeping in your room!

UnderwaterTempleBali
Underwater Temple Garden – *Image reference (7a)
 

underwater temple garden
Underwater Temple Garden – *Image reference (7b)
 

8. The air is stuffed with weird smells

Eew! Only crazy tourists will go gaga over the scents that seep into the nostrils ad nauseam. Like, who wants to relish the aroma of Balinese coffee, or of the spicy dishes from the local restaurants? And what sane person would go for those icky susu asli milk-egg tarts that melt in the mouth? Those prolific bloggers must have been paid huge sums of money for overrating this sickening place. Either that, or they are themselves crazy.

coffee bali
Balinese Coffee *Image reference (8a)
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nasi campur bali
Balinese Nasi Campur *Image reference (8b)


9. Bali is an ecological disaster

Because the natives aren't too refined, they don't put their animals in cages or in zoos. They wouldn't understand you if you tried teaching them how to preserve the diverse species of fauna and flora. uydu görüntüleri Trying to catch a glimpse of animals roaming freely in their natural habitats? In your dreams! 

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Alas Kedaton Monkey Forest
 

bali dolphin
Dolphin watching at Lovina Beach in the morning sunrise
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10. Bali's five-star hotels are bamboo huts

You only plan a Bali holiday when you're ready to leave the comforts of your 21st-century home. Because the island is as stuck in the past as its people, you can expect luxury accommodations in the form of rambling grass houses on stilts crowned by thatched palm roofs. You can also expect to take a dip in shapeless mud pools tiled with slippery moss.

Bali Trans Resort Premier Room
Trans Resort Bali Premier Room *Image reference (10a)
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Trans resort Experience - Swimming Pool 1, Bali, Indonesia
Trans Resort Bali Premier Room *Image reference (10a)
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Without a doubt, Bali is 'dangerous'!

The island of Bali so heinously entrancing and wickedly addictive, once you come, you'll no longer want to depart from it. OR you might keep coming back for more! Especially not after you've marvelled at the sunrise over the majestic Gunung Agung, or at the glorious sunset during your Jimbaran BBQ dinner. And definitely not when you've made friends with the gracious Balinese.

And you still want to holiday in Bali?!

jimbaran sunset dinner
Jimbaran Seafood Dinner *Image reference (11)

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Image References Courtesy of:
(2) – wonderful indonesia

(3a) – wonderful indonesia
(3b) – chinadailyasia news article
(4a) – asiaplacestosee
(4b) – Ministry of Culture & Tourism, Indonesia 
(5a) – Bali Semara
(5b) – danielpanuturi
(6) – Dianliwenmi
(7a) – Paul M Turley through Pinterest
(7b) – Paul M Turley through Pinterest  
(8a) – BernieCB via Compfight cc
(8b) – pinterest
(10a) – Trans Resort Bali

(10b) – Trans Resort Bali
(11) – Jimbaranbayrestaurant

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